Rangers Name Game

Last night’s appearance by Stolmy Pimental had social media abuzz about the quality of his name.  This made me think; if we were to make a Rangers starting lineup based solely on the quality of the players name, what would it look like?

Did I just waste two hours at work putting together a current Rangers All-Name team?  You bet I did. 

Do I have anything better to do with my life?  I wish.  Will the randomness of my search history lead to the termination of my employment?  Fair chance.

Without further ado, here are the Texas Rangers All-Name teams.  Enjoy.

Current Ranger All-Name Team

(Combination of all MLB and MiLB Rangers players)

C- Yohel Pozo.  I’m pretty sure this was a soup I ordered after having six margaritas.

1B- Rock Shoulders.  This might be my favorite name ever.  I would easily believe that this Rule 5 pick was a super hero or an adult film star before I figured out he was a baseball player.  Did Key and Peele name this guy?

2B- Rougned Odor.  Which one?  You decide. We’ve got two of them.

SS- Yeyson Yrizzari.  It’s not Jayson. “It might be a soft J. I'm not sure. It's supposed to be wild.”- Ron Burgundy.

3B- Guilder Alfredo Rodríguez Pérez.  You can’t even pretend that the first thing that came to your head when you read that name wasn’t “I bet he’s a ladies man”. 

OF- Nomar Shamir Jaminian Mazara.   The Red Sox had to trade MLB’s first Nomar to end the Curse of the Great Bambino.  I sure hope the current Rangers curse does not require a sacrificial Nomar, because this one is going to be awesome for a long time.

OF-Yimmelvyn Alonzo.  High leg kick, flashy free swinger with a name to match.  Say it with me, “Ya-mel-vin”.  I like it.

OF- Shin-soo Choo.   Rangers fans have him through 2020, let’s hope we get some joy from him other than just saying his name.

DH- Prince Fielder.  It’s funny how numb we have become to how awesome of a name Prince Fielder truly is.  He is the son of baseball royalty and he is a fielder.  That would be like my parents naming me Peasant Hackwriter.

SP- Nerfy Nunez.   Alliteration paired with the memory of childhood toys. 

RP- Keone Kela.  He speaks Hawaiian Pigin.  I am not sure what that means, but now I want to surf and eat seafood with this guy.

Who did I miss?  Feel free to add your favorites in the comment section.  

Perspective

Briggs Berry with Masters champion Jordan Spieth, from @BenRogers twitter account

As I was moping around my house last night, thinking about the Rangers leaving 15 men on base during an extra innings loss, complaining to my 4 year old son about the rash of injuries the Rangers have experienced over the last two years, and whining to the cat about how horrible I feel for Derek Holland, I needed a bit of perspective to get my head straight. 

Low and behold, Ben Rogers provided it to me in one tweet. 

Above is a picture of Briggs Berry and your Masters champion, Jordan Spieth, just months before Berry passed away from x-linked hyper IgM syndrome. 

Rogers tweeted out this picture with the simple caption, "I miss you @BriggsBerry". 

Perspective. 

You know what?  If the thing we are all most stressed about is our baseball team having another bad season while dealing with injuries, then all of us are doing just fine.  Baseball is supposed to be our release, our happy place, our pastime; so let's all step off of that ledge and let it be. 

Over the next few months, let's enjoy watching what we have in front of us. The talented youth, the Hall of Fame veteran, the return to glory by an injured all star, the development of future studs; there are so many things Rangers fans have to be excited about.  

Yeah, I get it 2010 and 2011 set the bar higher for the Texas fan base, but so what if this is not a World Series team?  The future is bright and there is plenty of joy to be had in Arlington.  In JD we trust.  

Thank you, Ben Rogers, and an eternal thank you to Briggs Berry for all of the lessons he instilled in us during his too short time here. 

Perspective. 

The Rangers are 3-3

That was a bit more fun than yesterday.

Minus the questionable insertion of Jon Edwards in the 6th inning in a high-leverage situation -- Edwards was just called up today -- tonight's game was never really in doubt. Adrian Beltre did Adrian Beltre things and had some help from the rest of the lineup. It also didn't hurt that the Astros created some self-inflicted wounds of their own instead of the other way around for once.

Perhaps my biggest takeaway on the night, however, is how well Prince Fielder is hitting the ball to left field with power. If you were among those that felt that Fielder's neck issues early last season weren't primarily to blame for his struggles, he's been proving that notion wrong. He looks healthy, and although he has yet to notch a home run on the season, has shown a renewed ability to hit the ball to all fields with force.

Apocalypse Arlington

Derek Holland has been diagnosed with a "sub scapular strain" and is out at least 6-8 weeks.  That combination of offspeed stuff he was throwing in the first inning was actually a steady stream of fastballs which he could not get any speed on.   He will have another MRI in four weeks, after which he will begin a rehab and throwing program.  

Here is the reality of this:  Don't expect Holland back until the All Star break.  

Ryan Rua will hit the DL tomorrow, which I would assume might give an intriguing opportunity to Carlos Peguero.  

Choo will be considered day-to-day and will have a precautionary MRI.  

Joey Gallo just had ankle surgery.  

Yesterday I was urging Rangers fans to back away from that ledge.  Today I join you. 

The Rangers are 2-3

Well.......that wasn't pretty. 

The game itself left us with thoughts about questionable defense and lack of patience at the plate, but the quality of play is the secondary story here.  

Derek Holland exits after one inning due to tightness in his throwing shoulder.  This one is scary, especially after the loss of Yu and the shoulder issues of Profar. 

Shin-soo Choo left in the second inning with back spasms.  He put on a show yesterday in his 2-hole debut and today we are once again left with questions about his health. 

Ryan Rua left in the sixth inning after spraining his right ankle.  X-rays were negative, but this is getting mildly ridiculous.  

How can this be happening again?  What type of voodoo is Nolan Ryan using?  

Hold on tight, Rangers fans, the road might be getting bumpy.